Kid Nation - Episode 13

The 13th and final episode of Kid Nation 1 begins with Mike, carrying a lantern against the pre-dawn darkness, shuffling out of the Red district boys’ bunk house. As the camera leads him down the street, he claims he can’t sleep for thoughts of the end of the Kid Nation adventure. Right. If he could keep his eyes open I might believe him, or if there hadn’t just happened to be a camera crew waiting outside his front door at 5:30 in the freaking morning.

Mike walks around the corner and there, at the end of the street, next to the church, the job board, a ten by six wooden billboard, is ablaze. He runs to the fire, sets his lantern on the ground and stares in a kind of atavistic thrall, mesmerized. Finally he shakes it off and runs to wake the town. The kids, less captured by the symbolism of the moment than they are frightened by an uncontrolled fire in a town of wooden buildings, run for water.

They are getting it under control when, for no apparent reason, they decide to stop trying to douse the flames and instead let the job board burn. By some strange quirk, they gather in a semi-circle to watch, happily giving the camera the best possible shot.

Cut to Mike, addressing the camera later in the day. “The job board is on fire, so that means there’s no more challenge.” He means the showdown competition, not life. One can’t help but think of the bomber squadron in Catch-22 after Yosarian slipped off on his own pre-dawn stroll and moved the troop line on the bombing map. No bombing run today, the squadron decided – we’d be bombing our own troops. Hurray for the infantry.

“But if there’s no more challenge, that means there’s no more classes,” Mike continues, growing more agitated with each syllable. “If there’s no more classes we can’t have places for the showdown and there’s supposed to be a showdown today. Oh, my God.”

The job board collapses, sending up a plume of sparks. Almost the entire town watches in the same slack jawed trance Mike displayed earlier. The only exception, 9 year old prodigy Alex, is wide of eye and smile, thrilled by the collapse of order. DK is the first of the others to awaken from the trance. The blank stares of his fellow pioneers frighten him and, like a hypnotist snapping his fingers, he shouts, “The job board is not the town.” He is wrong.

The host arrives. Over the smoldering remains of the job board he announces there are no more classes. The kids can continue working together as they have or they can do anything they want. The first thing they want is to see the pioneer journal burned. The second thing they want is to riot: which they do. The stores are looted. Candy is shoveled down with two hands. When the sugar intoxication gets too great, the candy is dumped in the street. Kids haul away wagon-loads of dry goods for which they have no use. “Why?” DK asks the camera rhetorically. “Because you don’t have one.”

Not everybody joins in. Stalwarts DK and Michael and Zach and Sophia are aghast. By night the town has crashed down off its sugar high. A meeting is convened. Town members are ashamed of their behavior and agree to spend the next day cleaning up the town and repairing the damage they have caused.

The next morning the host convenes a meeting after the children have cleaned up the worst of the mess – or at least gotten the mess into piles. There is, the town is told, one last $20,000 gold star to be awarded. The council takes a walk to decide who gets it. For DK, the pressure of deciding who the last kid is to get twenty grand is more responsibility than he cares to shoulder. His voice is steady when he tells the others he doesn’t want to be the one who decides, but big tears are rolling down his cheeks as he finishes.

The council returns and awards the last gold star Zach. Way to go, kid. I’m proud of you.

Three of the 4 Yellow girls do what girls do and decide to exclude the 4th Yellow girl, Emily, from a best friends’ sleepover. Migle, who has been getting a lot more face time over the last three episodes, breaks up the ensuing argument and promises Emily she can sleep with her.

The host convenes the third meeting of the episode. Three $50,000 gold stars are revealed. Two will go to previous gold star winners and the 3rd will be awarded to anyone. But first the stars must be earned. A party is going to be held and the kids have one hour to get the town ready. Signs have been posted describing a variety of tasks that must be completed. Ready, set go.

They make pasta and tomato sauce. They assemble picnic tables. They haul trash to the dump and bury it. On the final run back to home base there’s a wonky oh-my-leg, hey-gang-lets-carry-him bit with DK as the injured party and Greg and Blaine as his rescuers. Even if it wasn’t staged, it looked like it was. Cheezy.

The kids win the stars. The party’s on and there are guests. Over the hill the parents come running. The kids run to meet them, the tears already flowing on both sides. And yeah, I got a lump in my throat.

The final town meeting is convened. The choice of who gets the gold stars is left up to the town council. They rightfully award the 1st star to Sophia. The 2nd award is a surprise – it goes to Morgan, who we haven’t seen much of since episode 4. Her father thanks the council. Greg, of all people, is eloquent and gracious, thanking Morgan’s father for the privilege of having Morgan as part of “our town.” The father is amazed by Greg’s maturity. No more than we are, Morgan’s dad. The final gold star is another surprise – Migle. According to the editor, honorable mentions go to Mike, Markelle, Anjay and Jared.

So that’s it for season 1. Filming of season 2 is supposedly being wrapped up right now, but CBS has yet to renew. Ratings weren’t great, “some 2 points behind timeslot leaders “Deal or No Deal” on NBC and “Pushing Daisies” on ABC, and tied for 64th on all of broadcast this season,” according to Media Life. Maybe an email campaign is in order.