Survivor: China - Episode 13

Night 36.

The final four of Todd, Amanda, Courtney and Denise returns from voting PG off at tribal council. Congrats and hugs all around. Todd includes himself as a member of “the pack of four bitches,” trying to undercut any thoughts of a girl-power alliance. Courtney sees their position as a triumph of those who were at the bottom of the totem pole and the others don’t argue. Cut to a frog swallowing an insect.

Day 37.

They wake, smiling but hungry – they are out of food. Tree mail calls them to a luxury challenge that promises food to the winner.

The challenge centers on a mock-up of the Great Wall made out of cinder blocks. Survivors start atop the wall, climb down a ladder, run to the frame of a bridge with planks cut in puzzle pieces lying beside it, complete the bridge, cross, run to the end of the course, pick up 1 of 2 loads of giant Tetrus pieces, haul them back to the top of the wall. Once both loads are on the wall, they use the Tetrus blocks to fill in a missing cube in the wall. The prize is pizza and beer, critical fuel for the final immunity challenge.

Todd and Amanda leave Courtney and Denise behind at the bridge. (The digitized blur that has become a permanent fixture on the bottom of Amanda’s behind is again in place. Just how deep into the crack of her ass have those shorts gotten wedged? And; for how long?). Todd starts the final puzzle first, Amanada close behind. Denise is still working on the bridge. Amanda wins, leaving Todd’s record perfect – no wins on any challenges.

Amanda can invite 1 or 2 of her tribe-mates to join her in the reward. What would you do? She picks Todd and leaves Denise and Courtney twisting in the wind. As they eat, Amanda confesses to Todd that she doesn’t trust him. He starts off swearing “on my momma’s life” that it’s the two of them to the end. He reinforces this by again swearing, but this time on his own life. It’s an interesting juxtaposition. Is he so exhausted he’s starting to forget which lie it was he just told.

Denise talks to the camera, whining about how she’s never been picked for anything, all her life. Except to the Shao Lin Temple, eh, Denise? You should have stuck with PG and Erik. A final meeting lakeside between Todd, Courtney and Amanda seems to seal Denise’s fate.

Day 38

The tree mail has them do the honor-your-fallen-competitors shtick on their way to the immunity challenge. At each competitors name we get a little splash of them talking. The funniest is Dave, one-time ‘leader’ of Zhan Hu. Dave was, without a doubt, the person least suited to a leadership position in the history of Survivor (and maybe China). A firm believer in the you’re-stupid-no-you-are school of people skills, he was functionally delusional when it came to how one might best inspire and motivate others. Here is what he had to say: “My strategy going into the game was to be indispensable around camp and highly likeable. I was really passionate about helping people and it was essentially my downfall.” Hey Dave – you’ve confused “help” with “showing them the error of their ways.” There is no one people resent more than someone who is passionate about showing them the errors of their ways.

Oh, and Jamie thinks Erik really understood her and hopes that that relationship can continue off-island.

In keeping with this season’s recurring theme of respecting the ancient culture of the Chinese, the final immunity challenge consists of balancing a growing stack of porcelain dishes on the end of a stick, until the stack crashes onto the large, open, stone courtyard of an ancient, mountaintop shrine to the Chinese goddess of compassion and mercy. I don’t know about Chinese culture, but sometimes TV makes me ashamed of mine.

Thirty minutes in, Todd decides his perfect record of 0 for 25 in challenges is worth preserving and down his dishes go. On the next dish, Amanda makes a strategic move and places the bowl upside down. Courtney drops hers. Denise, whose stack is getting sloppy, tries to cut a deal, but Amanda isn’t interested. Amanda wins.

Back at camp Denise plays the sympathy card (some more). She tells Amanda that she (Amanda) and Todd and Courtney have other things ahead of them in life, but if she (Denise) loses, she’s back “doing the same thing day after day for $7 an hour.” Courtney and Todd work Amanda to convince her that Denise will win it all if she gets to the final three. Amanda goes back to Denise for a heart-to-heart and promises she won’t write down Denise’s name. Amanda feels out Courtney about Todd’s chances of beating the two of them if he’s in the final 3. Courtney says she’ll vote however Amanda votes.

At tribal council Jeff grills them pretty good. Todd plays it modest, Denise goes for the sympathy, Courtney keeps her eye-rolling reasonably in check. Denise says, “Amanda says she’s got my back.” Amanda says, “I didn’t say that today” and everybody (jury included) winces. Jeff asks Todd about his expression and he says Amanda’s remark was “sharp” and he was acting out of sympathy for Denise. Final tally – Denise is voted out by 3-1.

Back at camp Amanda lays into Todd for making her look bad in front of the jury. She is genuinely conflicted about what she has done (voting out Denise instead of Todd). She should be.

Day 39

Courtney and Todd are chipper, Amanda is in the same regretful mood she was in when she went to sleep. But a gift of food and champagne left at the mail box cheers her up. The ritualistic burning of the campsite is as per usual.

Night 39: The final tribal council.

The addresses to the jury are bizarre. Amanda has embraced a vote-for-me-because-I-feel-the-worst-about-winning strategy. She sadly apologizes to James, Jean Robert and Frosti for breaking her word not to vote them out, but doesn’t apologize to Denise. Is it possible she actually doesn’t remember giving her word to Denise the day before? Todd is even weirder, thanking the jury for “being where you are and helping me to get to where I am,” kind of like a mugger sending out thank-you cards to his victims. (Loved the shot of PG examining her nails during Todd’s speech). Courtney is actually not too bad, hiding the light of her natural viciousness under the bushel basket of the sweet, vulnerable babe in the woods bit she thinks she does so well (pause for gag reflex).

The jury’s response:

James congratulates everybody and asks about the good times they had. “I’m not a bitter Betty.”

Todd’s response to Jean Robert is revealing – he admits he got rid of Jean Robert because JR was showing himself as a good schemer and, because scheming was Todd’s strength, JR had to go. I admit it – I was wrong, Todd. I thought you acted out of ego, and I was wrong. Todd’s response leaves JR speechless, cracking up the jury.

PG wants to give the million to whoever deserves it the most. Todd’s response is to walk her through his strategy from day 1 and he’s impressive. Amanda admits it was her play to get rid of James.

Erik thinks voting out James, “a guy with two immunity idols,” was a no-brainer.

Frosti is hurt at Todd’s deviousness and Todd handles him perfectly: you’re-a-great-kid, yes-I-set-you-up-but-it-was-a-game-yadda-yadda-yadda.

Jamie tries to stir things up by getting the contestants to say why the other contestants should win. Todd kicks the others’ butt in the responses.

Denise, still smarting from the previous night, can barely hold the tears back. She lays into Amanda and Todd and makes it clear she’s voting for Courtney.

Cut to the live show. Todd wins it all, losing single votes to Amanda and Courtney. James gets a $100,000 viewer’s choice award and Mark Burnett kicks in $50,000 for Denise when she reveals she lost her lunch lady job because her supervisor said she would be a distraction and now she’s the school janitor, “sweeping floors and cleaning toilets.”

Survivor 16 is a Fans versus All-Stars edition premiering in February. The link to apply for Survivor 17 is in the VPTV Survivor post.