Celebrity Apprentice - Episode 7

Episode 7 of The Celebrity Apprentice starts with the Donald’s decision to re-make the teams. With Steven Baldwin’s defection last week, we begin with 4 men on Hydra (Piers, Tito, Lennox and Trace) and 1 man and 3 women (Steve, Omarosa, MariLu and Carol) on Empressario. A commercial break later it’s Tito, MariLu, Trace and Steven on Empressario and (yikes!) Piers and Omarosa spitting at each other on Hydra, with Lennox and Carol just trying to stay dry.

The task is running a horse and carriage business in Central Park. Each team gets 3 carriages; most earnings within what Trump calls “a very short period of time” (what constitutes a tall period of time?) wins.

Trace is the only member of Empressario who hasn’t been PM, so he’s up. Over at Hydra, Piers is PM. He wisely offers a truce to arch-enemy Oma for the duration of the task. Both teams agree the task is simple and straight forward – work the rolodexes and get rich friends to pay a shitload for a carriage ride for charity.

The truce lasts until the team is in the car on their way to Central Park the next morning. Oma (who does not have the celebrity pull to compete with anybody else on the show in terms of raising money) has done up a “commitment form” at Piers’ request. The form is not so she can have a much needed rest at Belleview; it is so they can keep track of the people who have committed to showing up and how much they are showing up with. On the form she has misspelled the name Piers. He tells her, “Business 101 - spell the name of the boss correctly.” She tells him, “You’re not my boss, Mr. Trump is.”

Which brings up that interesting point I previously raised in, I think, the Episode 4 recap: Is Omarosa a ringer? Is she taking backdoor orders from the producers? I say yes. As previously mentioned, the Donald has been seeking her input on matters of no concern to her just to give her a chance to speak. And now this. I protest. How dare someone play fast and loose with the integrity of the reality show genre.

Oma tells Piers, “Shut the fuck up.” She goes on to attack him on personal grounds that are way out of line – “Another man is raising your children,” “You’re wife and children hate you.” And when Piers takes a walk just to get away from her, she stretches luxuriously and tells Carol, “That was so refreshing.”

Piers fires Omarosa, she refuses to go. Piers thinks she will try to sabotage the team and tells Lennox as much. Still, she hangs around.

While Empressario is filling up their carriages with ordinary people eager to ride with a celebrity, Piers has Hydra holding back carriages in anticipation of big donors showing up.

Boardroom: Round 1.

Piers jabs, telling Trump he fired Omarosa.
Oma blocks, saying she was fired for a typo, and counterpunches: Vinnie and Steven quit Hydra rather than work with Piers.

Trump separates them. “How do you think your team did?”

Piers gets in a body shot, “Very well, without Omarosa.” He wisely gets off the petty “She misspelled my name” attack and introduces Oma’s attacks on his family. Oma walks right into a roundhouse.

“I said he was a terrible father.” She even repeats it. Clearly this is a woman who has no children. The Donald has been through a divorce and he has children. He will not tolerate this behavior and that Omarosa thinks it is acceptable will infuriate him.

Piers sees the look in Trumps eyes and goes for the kill. He delivers a full-on assault, outlining what Oma had to say about him and his relationship to his children. For once Oma is silent. Piers has her against the ropes and keeps punching.

Trump separates them. Piers tells him, “I will not work with her again. I won’t quit, but you can fire me if you like. I’m never working with her again. She is a piece of low-life trash.”

Lennox and Trump have a chuckle about the Oma v. Piers fight being tougher than Lennox’s fight against Tyson. Piers seizes the opening. “Tyson, at that press conference, did this type of thing to Lennox. What’d Lennox do? He punched him smack on the head. If she’d been a man, I would have punched her to the ground.”

But, damn – we don’t get to see Oma get what’s coming to here: Hydra beats Empressario, $35 Gs to $29 Gs. Trump is in a spot – he can’t fire Oma or Piers. He resolves the situation by returning Oma to Empressario starting the next day.

Boardroom: Round 2.
Trump says (and I believe him) that deciding who deserves to be fired from Empressario is the hardest firing in the history of the Apprentice. He polls everybody in the room and gets no closer to a decision. It goes to the judges and they score it a draw. For the first time in Apprentice history, no one gets fired.