Celebrity Apprentice - Episode 8

Before we start, I’ve got a question. Did it bother you last week that neither Lennox nor Carol spoke up when Omarosa started in on Piers’ relationship with his children? It bothered me and it bothered a couple of other people I know. I like to think most people wouldn’t sit back and watch while an associate of any sort was attacked like that.

Episode 8 has the third different team alignment in 3 weeks: 4th if we count Big Pussy’s fatal dalliance with the Feds in episode 5. Trump has switched Omarosa back to Empressario, where she teams with Steve, Trace and Tito, and moved MariLu over to Hydra, where she teams with Carol, Lennox and Piers.

Trump’s decision prompts ringer Omarosa to do her best Sally Fields, telling the camera that the decision proves, “He really likes me. He really, really likes me.” What has she been promised? For his part, Piers compares the swap to trading the Devil for Nelson Mandela.

Piers gives the 64 Gs he won for PMing Hydra to last week’s win to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, a charity that supports “the families left behind when one of their loved ones is left bereaved in the military.” Never heard the word bereaved used that way before.

Tonight’s challenge is brought to you by home shopping channel QVC. The challenge is introduced on a dockside heliport. The teams are to be flown by chopper to the QVC Pennsylvania headquarters to “write, direct and produce a live ten minute segment,” on QVC. They pick a product and sell it – most $ wins. MariLu is PM for Hydra, Steve for Empressario.

After the chopper ride (to Pennsylvania? That’s a long chopper ride), Lennox looks a little worse for wear. Piers tells us, “Lennox clearly had too much to drink.” Chopper rides with bar service. The rich aren’t like you and me.

After a bit of back and forth, Piers gets overruled in his desire to once again use Lennox as the star attraction. Thank god.

Lennox wants to direct. Mother Teresa dies. God greets her at the Pearly Gates. “You can have whatever you want in all of Creation,” God says. “Well,” she says, “I have always wanted to direct.” Except Lennox isn’t joking.

The teams are shown a half a dozen products to choose from. Both want the same one – The LadderKart, a step ladder that converts into a two-wheel cart when closed. I checked – freakin’ private company. Too bad. After the battle over which team gets the LadderKart, and the enthusiasm MariLu shows in her segment for the product, I’ll bet they woke up millionaires. She’d marry the thing if she could, swear to God.

Speaking of whom, she’s up against the voice of God himself, aka Trace. Everybody (i.e., Trace, Omarosa, who is cunning enough to know she needs to stay in the background until things cool, and Tito) tell Steven that Trace needs a script and he needs to rehearse, but Steven, as director as well as PM, insists he improvise. Turns out, he’s 100% right. Trace does this slow, thoughtful 10 minute bit, for a rechargeable electric sweeper, in a voice that reeks of integrity. If Trace told you to drink the grape Kool-Aid, you’d drink it.

Both teams hit the boardroom in good cheer. Empressario PM Steven gives Omarosa a favorable recommendation when Trump directly asks for one. So ask her out, Donnie. Come on – you know you want to. He also tells the Donald about Price Point, the QVC in-house credit service (5! Easy! Payments! Of! Yadda! Yadda!), and how important it was to their ability to sell a $60 item. Cut to Hydra member Carol, a 5-year veteran of hosting on QVC, suddenly looking guilty.

Hydra and the LadderKart lose to Empressario and the sweeper, $35,000 to $43,000. Turns out Hydra didn’t know about – and of course failed to promote on-air - the Price Point solution. What does losing PM MariLu do? Send Piers and Lennox home and bring the former QVC hostess who forgot to mention there was a payments plan available? No, that would be too easy. Let’s be an opposite George. So she sends Carol home.

There we have it. MariLu is on Empressario and the team loses 6 out of 7. She comes over to 6 and 1 Hydra and project manages the team to 6 and 2. You seem like a nice lady, but you are cursed.

Boring episode. Think they’ll crank up Oma again next week?