Survivor China - Episode 3

Before we get into the chronological recap of Episode 3, a thought on the show so far. There’s a difference between this and other seasons of Survivor. In Survivor China, both tribes have named leaders – Fei Long’s Aaron and Zuan Hu’s Dave – that nobody likes yet neither tribe seems eager to depose. How this will affect things down the line of course remains to be seen, but for now, I’m counting the days till Dave and Aaron are history.

We start with bedtime in the Fei Long shelter. It isn’t pretty. Jean-Robert is a groper and the women are not amused. Next morning James catches a crab (from the lake, not from Jean-Robert). In voice-over he tells us that he was shocked to learn he was the only one in the tribe to go to Barnes & Nobel and read a survival guide prior to coming on the show. B&N should hire James as their version of Subway’s Jared.

Over to Zuan Hu and Dave doing hard labor with the same intensity that ruined him for the last immunity challenge. PG says, “Dave doesn’t seem to learn. He knew that last challenge was just him burning out of energy. And he doesn’t seem to get it that he needs to rest.” Dave, in the clinched jaw, over-the-top, patronizing way that has become his trademark, responds with a hilarious monologue to the camera as follows:

“In order to save your energy and have energy for a challenge, you must efficiently expend some. It is a balance.” At this point he is sitting at the waters edge, holding out a hand palm up, fingers spread as if holding an invisible bowl. Yes, oh Zen master Dave; enlighten us poor saps. “Camp doesn’t sort itself out. If you don’t sort out camp, challenges will tank.” Master Dave puts his hand down, goes bug-eyed, tenses every muscle in his face and neck, grits his teeth and hisses, “It’s not rocket science.” Me, I’m thinking more along the lines of brain surgery.

In further evidence of Dave’s manic, depressing personality, he overhears the others discussing how best to stabilize their wok over the fire. They are wondering whether an additional brick should be used. Without even looking at the set-up, Dave storms off, brings back a brick (for some unexplained reason, this island came with a good supply of large mud bricks) and lectures the others on the efficiency of taking action rather than belaboring things to death. It takes them awhile to point out to him that they already have a brick, should they decide to use it. Good one, Dave. May peace and serenity be yours.

Luxury challenge time. Two flat-decked sail boats connected by 12 ft planks. Six people per round, 3 from each tribe, girls against girls, guys against guys. Teams win by throwing all their opponents in the water. First tribe to win 3 matches wins the challenge and a table of camp comfort items – tarp, blankets, kerosene lantern, rope and pillows. Fei Long has to sit out two: Courtney and Todd, again. The Zuan Hu women win Match 1. The guys step out, Dave pausing to strip to his shoes.

I’ll say that again: Dave strips to his shoes. He wants to fight naked.

The Fei Long men win match 2. And match 4. Unfortunately for them, the Fei Long women lose matches 3 and 5. Zuan Hu wins its first challenge. The kidnap twist introduced in Episode 2 is continued, with Leslie being chosen. And again as in the previous episode, she is given a tube with a message in it to be given in secret to one member of Zuan Hu before she returns to Fei Long at the immunity challenge.

Leslie and Zuan Hu get to know each other. Showing the same lack of game-awareness that she showed in disclosing the hidden immunity idol to Todd in the last episode, Leslie gives up more than she gets in her gossip about her tribe’s faults.

Speaking of Fei Long; cut to Jean-Robert in a lagoon, having a conversation with James, who is sitting on shore, maybe 20 ft away. Twenty yards distant, Courtney and Todd, not being sneaky or trying to hide, in relatively plain site, can hear every word. Jean-Robert and James discuss who needs to go, Leslie or Courtney. JR gets crude about James liking Courtney, James just laughs. Courtney and Todd snicker quietly, but they are pissed and give the cold shoulder to James and JR later at camp – Todd’s first bad move of the show? In an aside to the camera he makes it clear he intends to conspire against the two.

Gross groper JR calls for a family swim. A 2 second scene, but it made me want to take a bath, he’s so creepy. Like a drunken uncle trying to get his nieces in the lake.

The immunity challenge is coming, so it’s time for Leslie to pass along the clue to the hidden immunity idol. She gives the clue to Jamie. Like the note earlier, the clue is identical to last week’s. Correction to Episode 2 recap – Fei Long’s carved emblem/idol is not on a board being used as part of that tribe’s shelter. It is on the cross piece of the tall, ornamental Chinese gate that marks their beach. Zuan Hu has a similar ornament marking their beach and their hidden immunity idol/emblem is also the centerpiece of the crosspiece of the gate. Again I say: no way will anybody recognize it as an idol without a further clue.

The immunity challenge uses 2 teams of 6. 4 choppers take turns hacking with a machete through boards concealing a rope, which they cut, lowering a bundle of disks with odd shaped center holes. The remaining 2 members of the team then have to stack the disks in a particular order on a carved spindle. Once the heavy disks are correctly assembled on the rock-bottom spindle, the two stackers must drag the very heavy contraption across a finish line 40 ft away. Fei Long has to sit two – Denise and Leslie. Because Courtney sat out the luxury challenge, Fei Long has no choice but to use her. She looks like death – a concentration camp victim (enough to give the creepy edge to JR’s lust for her).

Watching Courtney trying to wield a machete makes one weep for the fall of western civilization. The fall of great powers is often preceded by strikingly vulgar extravagances – the Coliseum of 1st century Rome, the Court of 18th century France. People like Courtney are our strikingly vulgar extravagance. She is so weak she can’t hold the machete rigid, even using both arms. One after another, all 4 Zuan Hu choppers get their disks and Courtney still isn’t through. Zuan Hu wins their first immunity.

Todd lobbies unsuccessfully to get JR voted off. That he manages to save Courtney – a liability to everyone – is a shock in itself. Despite making the wrong initial move, he comes out of tribal council smelling like a rose. Guess who goes? Why, it’s Todd’s secret alliance partner and the only other person to know there is an immunity idol somewhere in camp, Leslie.

Todd moves up in this week’s power rankings despite making 2 weak moves.