The Celebrity Apprentice – Episode 12

Episode 11 ended with Trump calling the final 4 back to the boardroom and telling them that 2 more will be fired before the night is out.

We open with Trump informing the would-be apprentices that they will be interviewed by two professional business recruiters, a CNBC’s Erin Burnett and that abrasive weasel from Mad Money.

We get a montage of clips of the celebs being interviewed. The general impression I got was that Piers was the best spoken with Carol 2nd. It was also clear that Abrasive Weasel didn’t like Piers.

The two interviewers conference with the Donald. Seems Erin didn’t care for Piers, either. AW says Piers will raise the most money, then asks, “Do things like teamwork and leadership matter?” Trump says yeah, always. With all the gravitas of the Scientist in a ’50’s sci-fi movie responding to the General’s command that he speak English, AW says, “Then Piers must be stopped.” Both of the recruiters liked Carol and Trace the best.

The 4 are called into the boardroom. Trump asks each in turn what they thought of the interview process. He questions Piers about his lack of tact. Piers handles him beautifully: “If I am to lose because of my lack of British tact in a game which is led by a man who is renowned around the world for being a ruthless, tough business man, then I plead happily guilty to that.”

Lennox is an easy kill for the Donald: too nice. Against the advice of both of his experts, he lets Carol go. He believes that Trace and Piers don’t really like each other and he wants to watch them go at each other. I get a picture of avid, feral faces watching a playground fight. Remember how it was the kid who was most chicken that always cheered the fight on the loudest?

Next morning Trump and the kids meet the final two in the Trump Building ballroom. Trump, in Pier’s words, “deliberately pitched it as the 6 foot 7, all American hero cowboy against the disgusting, obnoxious evil Brit.” Though he feels, “I’m not that evil and he [Trace] isn’t that good,” the scenario does arouse his competitive juices.

For the task, they have 2 days to stage “a really grand charity event.” Four celebs are brought back to assist; Carol, Stephen, Lennox and Mari Lu. They flip for first pick and Trace wins. He picks Lennox, “taking Piers’ security blanket away from him.” Smooth move. By Piers’ double-take, it seems the strategy worked Piers picks Stephen (we get an insert of Stephen praying not to be picked by Piers). Trace takes Mari Lu next and that leaves Carol for Piers.

The charity event will be a Backstreet Boys concert and charity auction. One team produces the concert and provides catering, the other team will “take care of the décor as well as working with the entertainment.”

They’ll be judged on 3 parameters: ticket sales, money raised during the auction and how well they handle their segment of the production.

Piers and Trace quickly agree Trace will handle the show/catering while Piers will handle the auction. Prizes are provided and Trace and Piers smoothly negotiate who gets what. The strategizing begins.

In separate monologues, Piers makes it clear he is going to focus on raising the most cash, while Trace says he concedes Piers will beat him in the fund raising area, so he’s going to focus on beating him in ticket sales and production.

And Trace is serious – he’s chartering 2 jets to fly country celebs in from Nashville. Along with Mari Lu and Lennox, Trace starts working the rolodexes. Lennox accompanies Carol to a place called The Prop Room to select the tablecloths, tables and chairs, yadda-yadda. It is so hunters-gatherer. She wants to look at everything. Lennox has a mother like her and he knows how to handle her. As soon as she mutters a word of approval, Lennox shouts “Done” and moves her on to the next thing. They should do an old married couple movie.

Piers isn’t slacking off, either. He hits on Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York. She donates a royal tea set and agrees to tea.

Back with Trace, Mari Lu warns him the Backstreet Boys have an extensive green room specs on their rider (no brown M&Ms type crap). Trace gets hold of the tour manager to negotiate. The manager doesn’t know who he is and we see Trace starting to get a little steamed. Meanwhile Piers is getting 20 veterans in uniform to attend.

Trace meets with the Backstreet Boys. In a cut-a-way to the camera during a discussion of Wheat Grass juice he says, “I knew this was a bunch of kids that were going to bust my balls all day long.” Prima Donnas rule.

Stephen is “fairly useless” in getting celebrities he’s not related to to agree to attend. The notice is way too short.

And then it ends – with no real wrap up. See you next week for the 2 hour season finale.