Survivor Micronesia - Episode 13

Dabu, day 34: Natalie waking up on a pallet resting atop the outriggers of the camp canoe. Eric sits on the edge of the boat, talking strategy. For all we know he’s been talking strategy to her while she slept. “If Parvati and Cirie are smart, they’ll see that Amanda is very popular with the jury…,” yadda-yadda.

After the previous night, these two are at the mercy of the 3 remaining Faves. Eric addresses the camera. His profession, displayed on screen under his name during his first solo on-screen moment every week, continues to be Ice Cream Scooper. He feels Amanda made him look like a fool at tribal council. That would be affirmative there, Scoop. Even as he tells Natalie what she wants to hear (“one of us needs to go to Exile Island to have a chance at the hidden immunity idol” “Amanda bad”), he tells us that things, for him, are in flux and he hasn’t decided who to align with.

Cut to Amanda, Parvati and Cirie. In voice-over Amanda tells us she trusts her girls; it’s the three of them to the end. “We’ve got to make sure Natalie or Erik don’t win this challenge. We can’t let them get to Exile Island. If one of them finds the immunity idol, it could mean the end of Parvati, Cirie or me.”

Cirie suggest that if Erik wins the luxury challenge, Amanda can get in Erik’s head and tell him that everything is forgiven and he’ll do whatever she says. “Tell him that Parvati is tired and not well and she won’t even look for the idol.” Amanda is dubious – after calling him out at tribal council, why would he believe her about anything?

Silly girl. He’s alone and your alliance is tossing him a life line. Plus you’re hot and he’s a guy.

Amanda approaches Erik on the beach, her batting eyelashes creating a rather stiff breeze. She has him eating out of her hand within two minutes. It’s a fish in a barrel kind of thing. Ice cream scooper versus beauty queen, Custer versus Indians, potayto versus potaato. Soon the boy is confused, talking to the camera:

“It’s really weird, ‘cause I feel like I have some kind of choice to make on the fact that I’m starting to win some challenges and now basically Natalie and Amanda are trying to talk me into some different plan.” Down that path lies madness, Scoop.

The challenge is a quiz on past Survivors. “How well do you know this game you love so much?” Turns out, not so much. Five questions are asked of the 5 participants (“On what Survivor were contestants first split into teams of 4?”). Of the 25 answers given before the game ends, 12, or less than 50%, are answered correctly.

The challenge is tailor made for fanatic Erik. He wins a helicopter ride to an overnight stay at a spa. He takes Amanda with him, sends Parvati to Exile Island and pisses Natalie off no end.

Natalie has to stay with just Cirie, and Cirie spends her time getting Natalie all wound up about how badly Erik has treated her. At the spa we get shots of Amanda and Erik’s legs as they get foot massages. As always, I am surprised by how torn up these players get. Survivor could use more CSI-type gross/pain-porn shots.

Erik addresses the camera. He is one confused boy who doesn’t know whether he should believe Amanda or not. It’s like he wants to, but he knows he’s got a blindside coming and knows any decision he makes could be wrong.

The two arrive back at the camp the next day and Erik acts surprised at Natalie’s cold shoulder. He takes her aside and tells her it should be the two of them and Parvati in the final 3. Then he takes Cirie aside and tells her it should be the two of them and Parvati in the final three.

With Parv still on Exile, the remaining three women gather and discuss the various stories Erik has told them individually. Erik comes upon the conversation and knows he’s been busted.

Immunity challenge time. Parvati rejoins the group after a relaxing stay on Exile – no rain, no need to find the idol. The challenge starts with 3 30-foot wide circles in the sand. Pegs stake the perimeters. Each player gets a set of coordinates and two ropes. They run their 2 ropes between the right stakes and where the ropes intersect is where puzzle pieces are buried. The assembled puzzle gives the coordinates for the next circle.

During the challenge explanation the camera shows us the three puzzles fully assembled. The last one is letters: “Guaranteed final four.” That’s 1

After the explanation Jeff reminds them “the winner gets a guaranteed spot in the final four.” That’s 2.

The contestants line up at the starting line. Jeff reminds them “the winner gets a guaranteed spot in the final four.” That’s 3.

During the challenge, as Erik, with a huge lead, works on puzzle 3, Jeff shouts “The winner gets a guaranteed spot in the final four.” .That’s 4.

We read Erik’s assembled puzzle: “Guaranteed final four.” That’s 5.

Jeff verifies the puzzle and shouts, “Guaranteed final four.” That’s 6.

Jeff hangs the immunity necklace around Erik’s neck and announces to the others that Erik is, “Guaranteed a spot in the final four.” That’s 7.

Back at the camp Erik allows the women to get together and talk outside his presence. Natalie confirms that she is odd-woman out. By way of consolation Parvati says, “If he didn’t have that necklace, he’d be gone.” Cirie, ever the one for encouraging puppies to chase their tails, says, “I wonder if he would give Natalie his necklace.”

Before you can scream, “Spawn of Satan,” she has a plan mocked up whereby Natalie convinces Erik that Cirie will betray her alliance and vote with Erik and Natalie to evict Amanda, who everyone believes will win it all if she makes the final 3. The only thing Erik needs to do is signal his compliance to Cirie by giving the immunity necklace to Natalie at tribal council (because, of course, Erik blew his credibility and now must do something irrevocable to show Cirie that he can be trusted to take her and and Natalie to the final 3.

Amanda gets a gleam in her eyes. She works Natalie to go for it and coaches her on the way to work Erik. When Natalie first presents the idea to Erik he rejects it outright. But, damn: these women can work men. Whether they are lulling them into a false sense of security by playing on the men’s egos or egging them into a false sense of insecurity by playing on their fears, they are amazing.

At tribal council we realize the ice cream scooper is going to fall for this. The minute he hands the immunity necklace to Nat, you can see he regrets it (maybe it is the shock on the faces of the jury that wakes him to what he has just done). I’m squirming in my seat as the women prey on his insecurities right up to time to vote.

They don’t quite believe it even as they pull off the fourth blindside in a row. In-f’n-credible. I saw it and I don’t believe it. Guaranteed a spot in final four – UNLESS YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO LIVE! When the vote is revealed James says from the Jury, “I’ve lost my reign as dumbest Survivor player ever.”