Survivor Micronesia: Episode 14

During the opening recap a clip is shown of Favorite Jonathan in which he gives his opinion of the Fans’ chances: “You can be a fan of the Boston Red Sox, but you don’t want to play the Boston Red Sox: you’re going to get your ass handed to you.” And ultimately, he was right. Despite having lost two players to physical injuries, the Faves open the Survivor 16, Survivor: Micronesia, Fans vs. Faves season finale holding 3 of the final four spots.

Faves Parvati and Cirie along with Fans Natalie and Alexis dominated the final weeks of the competition – so much so that in a sense Fave Amanda is lucky to have been dragged into the women’s alliance almost against her will. Ozzy and Jason were blindsided without Amanda and when James got pulled for medical reasons, Amanda was lucky Parvati and Cirie were willing to embrace her due to the Faves alliance that began in week 1. Eric was eliminated last week in what will henceforth be known as The Stupidest Move in Survivor History and now Faves Amanda, Parvati and Cirie and lone Fan Natalie get ready to battle for the final individual immunity idol.

Dabu, night 36. The women return from Eric’s embarrassment. They are intoxicated with their success and rightfully proud of what they have accomplished. But then Parvati makes the faux pas. The women do this funny little witches stirring the pot dance they have been developing for celebration purposes and when they are done Parvati congratulates the women on avoiding all the blindsides and sums it up with, “let’s see what happens next.” What happens next, Parv, is that you eat your own, remember? The others cheer, but the thrill of victory is already draining out of their whoops.

Morning, Day 37. The women start up their conversation where they left it the night before; revisiting their victories over the men. In a revealing aside we watch Parvati and Natalie talk about the bond they have formed. Would Parvati dump Cirie for Natalie if given the chance, or is she just securing Natalie’s vote from the jury?

The immunity challenge comes earlier than the players anticipated – they thought it was a luxury challenge when they first saw the tree mail. The challenge takes place on towers out in the water. Players stand on a tiny perch and pull up buckets of water, which they pour into a bamboo pipe attached to the tower. The water raises a set of keys toward the perch. When the keys are in reach they have to unhook them, jump down, swim to shore and unlock a box containing the 16 rungs of a ladder. The rungs only fit one way. First survivor to assemble the rungs, climb their ladder and raise their banner wins “A guaranteed spot in the final three.”

Natalie is the most motivated to win this challenge. Parvati and she are neck and neck to start, but Natalie gets her keys first. Amanda’s finally gets hers, but the other 2 have a good lead. Amanda cuts Natalie’s lead once she starts assembling her ladder. Natalie suffers a brain lock and Amanda storms past her and wins. She is now in the final 3 for the 2nd Survivor in a row.

Back at camp there are no surprises. Nobody trusts anybody, everybody promises everything. Tribal council comes fast. The look between Erik and his tormentors is classic. “Yeah, yeah,” his look says, “you got me. No hard feelings.” Then Jeff raises a possibility I hadn’t even considered: the game may not be over.

He asks Amanda, “Have you guys talked about, ‘What do we do when there’s only 3 people left?’ Or have you just been assuming that’s all I got to do: just get to the final 3 and I’m good to go?”

The faces of Parv and Amanda and Cirie go slack. It’s like the mantra – get to the final 3, get to the final 3 - got them this far and if it proves to not be true it’s just too bad, because they have rationed all their strength to get here and there’s no more left.

Amanda makes it plain, “No one here, I think I can honestly say that, is expecting the final 2. At this point in the game, it would take us for another whirlwind.”

Jeff asks Cirie how it would change the game for her and Cirie says, “I would feel that, once again, I am on the bottom of the alliance and that is not a good place to be.

A funny thing happens here. Amanda uncharacteristically jumps in and asks Cirie, “When did you feel you were on the bottom of the alliance?” Clearly an emotional can of worms has opened for her.

To the delight of the jury (and Natalie) Cirie and Amanda go at it over who has had the tougher path. But they both back off before any arteries are cut. The vote is taken. By a vote of 3-1, Natalie is out. The final three are 3 of the 5 female Faves. Natalie is gracious in her good-bye.

Back at camp the conversation returns to Cirie’s view that she is always on the bottom of whatever alliance she is in. Amanda and Cirie argue and finally Parvati steps in and tells Amanda that what Cirie is saying makes sense. Amanda realizes she’s arguing over nothing and breaks down, crying.

I actually felt bad for her. She went from Survivor China directly to Survivor Micronesia, which has got to play with your head. Plus I see a problem here. If there is another immunity challenge and another tribal council and they get Amanda talking, she may well come off as fake – ’cause she is going to bawl her eyes out. What sympathy will the jury have for someone who cries about being in the final 3, or even the final 2?

The next morning they get a tree mail and it is phrased in a particularly cruel way. The hokey remember-your-fallen-comrades bit has always been something reserved for the finalists, be there 2 or 3. This tree mail says “congratulations final 3” (making it seem they are done with immunity challenges), and goes on to talk about the fallen-comrade portion (reinforcing that all 3 are in the final) and then the producers pull a cheap trick and end the tree mail with “you will then proceed to your final immunity challenge.”

Har-har.

Again Amanda breaks down. It’s like the game has brain-washed her. She reminds me of cult members I’ve known. Cirie is more pragmatic, noting that it’s poetic justice: the blindsiders get blindsided.

On the walk of shame (oh, that was Fear Factor) we are reminded of what a crazy season this has been; 3 quitters (asking to be voted off is just another way of quitting): the execrable Johnny Fairplay, the most morose gay man ever, Chet, and Kathy, who couldn’t take the physical deprivation; 2 medical eliminations. And it was still one of the best seasons ever.

The final immunity challenge has the final 3 balancing a steel ball in a shallow slot etched into a the side of solid metal cylinder. The cylinder is held by pressing another cylinder to each end. Every 5 minutes new cylinders are added to both ends. Parvati goes out on round 3. Cirie loses it at the end, but Jeff has announced the end of the round and she’s safe. She loses it again as Jeff is counting to the start and again she is saved because the round hasn’t officially started. Both make it through round 4. Round 5 is the final: it lasts as long as it lasts. Cirie drops her ball about 2 minutes in and Amanda wins again.

Back at camp Amanda gets herself wound tighter and tighter. At tribal council, her excellent performance in pretending she didn’t have the hidden immunity idol two weeks ago works against her as the jury presumes her emotional anguish is just crocodile tears. Jeff eggs her on (“explain to me the emotional…”) and it may be that he did her real damage.

Amanda evicts Cirie and takes Parvati with her to the final two. The girls get a final night to themselves and wake up to a pic-nic. It’s nice to see them finally free from the pressure of the game.

Final tribal council. The opening statements are lame. Amanda thanks the members of the jury for their help in getting her to the final 2. Bad move in that it just reminds the jury members of their failure. Parvati tries to be open. She makes eye contact with Ozzy and James and cracks a feeble joke. Ozzy glares back, not a trace of forgiveness in his expression. Parvati gulps.

Eliza goes first with the questions. Actually, she goes first with the accusations. She doesn’t know who she will vote for because Parvati talked bad about her when she didn’t have to and Amanda was so superficial it made Eliza, deep thinker that she is, want to kill herself. So she’s just going to watch.

Jason asks Amanda if she would have let Ozzy in on the plan to blindside him if she had known. Amanda says yes. He asks Parvati what her redeeming qualities were in the game. She cites her loyalty to Amanda and Cirie and Alexis and Natalie. And the fact that they didn’t kill the final chicken.

Alexis wants Parvati to tell her why she would be a better role model for young girls. She wants Amanda to know the jury laughed over the “crocodile tears” Amanda shed when she evicted Cirie. “What, if any, part of your game was genuine?” Guess that’s one for Parv.

Natalie wants to know how being a flirt translates to the bedroom. Jeff interrupts to ask Parvati if she knows what Natalie is asking. Parvati says she does and Natalie outs Parvati for flirting with her. The whole scene plays like Natalie trying to find out if Parvati really wants to roll in the hay together. She then turns to Amanda and asks about her vacant look and wants to know if it was part of her game play or if it is truly who she is. Alexis and Natalie clearly are voting for Parv.

Erik tells Amanda he looked on her as a big sister and she threw him under the bus. She tells him he was the one who was disloyal. Chalk up 3 for Parv.

James attacks Parv for betraying him and Ozzy and she refuses to back down.

Cirie goes after Amanda, wanting her to tell the jury why Parvati deserves a million dollars more than her and then wants Parvati to tell the jury why she deserves a million less than Cirie. So you think you should be in the final 2, Cirie? Is that what I’m hearing?

Ozzy is next. He has a catch in his voice as he berates Parvati for selling him out. After shushing her when she tries to speak (“I don’t want any words. I don’t want to talk to you”) he says, “The worst part is that your play deprived me of 14 days I could have spent with Amanda.” What? Ozzy has fallen for Miss Earth 2006, and he wants everyone to know it.

The vote is made. Cut to the live broadcast. By a vote of 5 to 3, Parvati is the winner of Survivor Micronesia.