Survivor Gabon - Episode 5

This season is turning into a crush of proportions unseen since Survivor: Amazon. Fang was so bad from the start that the producers switched the tribes up after a mere 3 episodes. The results? Even more loses. Kota (many colors) is well fed and fit. Fang desperately needs to win a challenge – and a luxury challenge with food as the reward would be better than immunity. These guys need to eat. The thing that makes it hard to feel sorry for them is they don’t seem to be doing anything about their situation – no hunting, no fishing, no gathering.

Night 15

Fang returns to camp after granting GC his wish to get back to the hood. Ace addresses the camera. He knows that he and Sugar have targets on their backs and wonders what he can do about it.

Day 16

Matty addresses the camera – he’s looking for an alliance. Cut to Matty and Ace having a confab. They quickly forge an alliance: Kenny-Matty/Ace-Sugar. Matt promises on his girlfriend and claims in voice over that he has to honor the alliance to the end because not doing so would be a betrayal of the love of his life. “I can’t break this alliance for a million dollars. Not for 5 million.” What a chucklehead. Going down on your alliance partners would be a betrayal of your girlfriend, Matty. Betraying them to win the million would be a betrayal of them. Get it? Wonder what his girlfriend will say if loses the million rather than break a vow sworn on her name. I’m guessing something on the order of “Get the hell outta here, you stupid, broke loser.”

Sugar tells the camera, “Ace is a snake, but he’s my snake.”

Over at Kota Bob complains to the camera that Dan is pigging out on the food. Corinne complains to the camera about the same thing.

Meanwhile, Fang is starving. Ken tells the camera that he warned them they were wasting the rice and now here they are with only 6 days worth left. Cut to Sugar, the only well fed member of the tribe due to her 3 visits to Exile Island, where an unlimited supply of fresh fruit has served to keep her plump and luscious. Sugar volunteers to give her immunity idol (she found it on her first visit to Exile Island) to Ace, her logic being that the tribe knows she has it, so he can use it. Huh? She clearly wants to obligate Ace to her, but I can’t figure out why.

With the alliance and the promise of the idol Ace feels safe. But does he feel loved?

Challenge time.

Two 20 foot, 200 pound floppy fake snakes. The tribes start on opposite sides of an oval track, carrying a snake on their shoulders. Corinne sits out for Kota. First tribe to catch up to the other wins. Players are tied to their snake at the wrist. When they tire they have to untie themselves to get out of the way of the others. Winner gets coffee and pastries.

Well fed Kota quickly starts to close the gap. Probst yells, “The tribe that wins this challenge will be the one that wants it most.” Right, Jeff. And, as SNL has pointed out, Hillary would have won the nomination if she had just wanted it more. Goof.

A tribe can only move as fast as its slowest member. Kenny stumbles for Fang. They lose time as he and then Sugar untie and get out of the way. It helps. Crystal, Matty Ace and Kelly (of all people) sprint hard and lengthen the gap that Kota was closing. But their lack of food has left them with little endurance. Kelly tires and the others tell her to untie. When she does the weight of the snake is distributed unevenly and Crystal stumbles. Ace and Matti yell at her to untie. She does and Ace and Matti go quickly down to defeat.

Probst gives each Kota member a fruit tart to get them started on their sugar-fest. As Kota gobbles, the frustration becomes too much for Olympic gold medal sprinter Crystal and she weeps. Kota member Randy, as nasty a piece of work as we have seen on this show in all 18 seasons, sneers, “wa-wa-wa.”

Jeff asks Kota who they want to send to Exile Island and they send Sugar for the 4th time. Their strategy is they want to force her to use the idol, at which time a new one will be hidden. Sound thinking, assuming they ever lose a challenge. As Fang stumbles off nasty Randy says the best part of winning isn’t the reward, it’s watching Fang lose. Cut to Crystal talking to the camera. “Randy is an under-the-bridge troll.” She has given us no reason to respect her, but Crystal is still totally right about Randy.

Back at camp Kota debates how to split the spoils. Some tribe members want to divide the pastries evenly, others want everyone to eat till they’re full. Randy, knowing Dan’s piggishness is alienating him from the others, eggs him on. “It’s a reward,” he tells Dan. “Go ahead, eat what you want.”

Cut to Sugar on Exile, crying, feeling guilty about once more having all the fruit she can eat while her tribe is starving.

Back at Fang the tribe is bickering amongst themselves. Crystal is embarrassed and defensive about breaking down in front of Kota and tries to convince the others her tears weren’t a sign of weakness. But the woman hasn’t a clue how to communicate and she winds up blaming others for their situation. In private Ace tells Kelly, “Crystal’s going the same way GC did.”

And the rich get richer. Kota catches a large turtle and make a huge pot of high protein turtle soup.

Immunity Challenge.

The tribes are paired off and tied together at the waist. They must negotiate an obstacle course, retrieve two heavy metal tubes, and re-cross the course to the start. Once all 3 pairs of tubes have been gathered they are to be assembled into a flag pole. First team to raise its flag wins.

Randy and Bob go against Sugar and Kelly. The two blonds do surprisingly well and the gap is small enough for the next pair, Crystal and Ace, to make it a tie by the end of their match-up against Corinne and Charlie. The final pair of pairs, Dan and Marcus versus Matti and Kenny is a dead heat. At this point you gotta admire Fang.

But then the tubes have to be assembled, which requires team work, a concept foreign to Ace. He pushes the others out of his way and loses the challenge.

The disintegration of Fang continues. Back at camp:
Crystal wants Ace out.
Ace wants Kelly out.
Matty wants Sugar out.
Crystal and Kenny talk and she convinces him that Ace can’t be trusted.
Kenny and Matti talk and Matti lets Kenny in on the fact that he (Kenny) is in an alliance with Ace and Sugar.
Sugar and Kenny talk. She tells him she gave the idol to Ace. Kenny convinces her that Ace is not to be trusted.
Sugar takes the idol back from her snake. This woman can be convinced of anything by anybody. Wonder if she’d like to go out for a drink when the show’s over.

At tribal Probst stirs the pot. Kelly says she doesn’t think Crystal is weak for crying, she thinks she’s unstable. Crystal’s big eyes get all twitchy and, yep, she sure looks unstable to me. But Crystal is stronger and harder than Kelly, and that’s what matters to the tribe at this point. Kelly is voted out.

Please, God, merge these tribes soon and put Fang out of its misery.