KID NATION Episode 2

Kid Nation episode 2 begins with the producers (through their avatar, the narrator of the bogus pioneer journal) once again interfering in the kids’ social development. The snakes-in-the-garden call the Town Council to the church to read the infernal journal. The passage and accompanying picture make no sense.

“Back in 1895,” they read, “our wagon train contained only dry goods and canned foods: no fresh meat.” Cue turning the page to a vintage photograph of pioneers standing beside the rewards of the hunt – several field-dressed deer hanging from a tree.

So the kids are going to hunt for their protein, right? Makes sense – give the teen boys something to do with their testosterone, and rabbits seem plentiful around the town. But, no; the journal advises them to slaughter some of their 18 laying hens, whose eggs are the kids’ only source of daily, protein-rich fresh food.

[I’m now hooked on this show primarily because I want to see if the kids ever rebel and refuse to follow the producers’ manipulations. I doubt that they will – if nothing else, KN is proving to be an object lesson in how the desire to have somebody in authority strengthens, the closer a group is to chaos.]

The growing horror on the faces of Laurel and Mike as they process what the journal is telling them to do is hard to watch. Taylor looks mildly concerned, in a beauty-queens-don’t-do-butchering kind of way. Anjay thinks killing some chickens is a good idea.

They decide to take the idea to the town for a vote. At the meeting we are introduced to 9 year old Emilie, who has raised chickens back home in Nevada and loves caring for the Bonanza brood. “I don’t want them to kill chickens,” she tells the camera, “because it’s mean, it’s cruel, it’s…. Animals are our friends. People just don’t realize that.”

The meeting is fascinating, watching kids come to terms with the actual mechanics of meat eating. “We don’t know how to do this,” 12 year old Markelle says. “You gotta take out the guts and stuff.”

Greg (yes, the 15 year old who Mike mishandled in episode 1) steps up. This is his chance to earn one of the $20,000 gold stars. “I worked for a butcher for about a year,” he tells the group. “I’ve butchered cattle, I’ve butchered pigs, I’ve butchered goats, I’ve butchered lambs, I’ve butchered turkeys and I’ve butchered chickens.”

Emilie pipes up, “Why don’t we just kill a goat?”

They vote. The chickens lose. Budding activists Emilie and 10 year olds Savannah and Campbell run out of the meeting and barricade themselves in the chicken coop. Taylor arrives and convinces Emilie to come to a negotiation meeting. She caves to “the greater good” (arguable) once she receives assurances only two hens will be killed and no one will be forced to participate in or even watch the butchering.

Greg, with Anjay’s help, beheads the chickens while half the town watches, repulsed but fascinated (except Emilie, who can only stomach watching one get the ax. She’s the only one who runs away). Afterwards Jared, a Shakespeare quoting 11 year old, hefts a headless chicken by its feet and says, “We sped up the natural cycle of life and death and gave these two suckers a short cut.”

Greg does an amazing job with the butchering, explaining as he goes in a business-like, professional manner. What complex creatures men are – this is the same guy who can behave in ways even a 9 year old has called juvenile.

Back in the kitchen, Sophia is again the cook; despite being a member of the Greens, not Taylor’s Yellows, who are collectively the Cooks according to the town’s primitive organization chart. The chicken soup is a huge success. There’s a cutaway to Emilie denouncing the behavior. Are we to believe she skipped the meal?

Overnight the weather turns cold enough to freeze the water pump. Taylor decides it’s too cold for the Yellows to get out of bed and leaves the rest of the town to fend for themselves for breakfast. Ten year old Zach is the only one of the Yellows mature enough to be embarrassed by his team. He tries to get Taylor to get the group to do its job. “It’s your job to be in the kitchen,” he tells her and her friend Leila – a dead ringer for a 9 year old Mickey Mantle. “So what?” the beauty queen says with a giggle.

Greens Michael, Eric and (I think) Hunter smartly take a hot pot of water off the stove and use it to thaw the pump.

The showdown is next. Besides re-ranking the teams on the organization chart, the showdown also means a prize for the town if all teams finish within an hour. And, again, 2 prizes, one a necessity, one a luxury are offered. As the children arrive at the windmill, bundled, shivering, hands in pockets and shoulders hunched, their luxury prize dominates the landscape – a 45 ft high inflatable water slide. In the desert. On a day cold enough to freeze water.

The showdown involves hooking up pipes to bring water from a holding tank, through a couple of obstacles, to a water wheel. After the first couple of pipes are hooked up the water is turned on, to make things difficult. None of the kids figure out they can run the pipe from the waterwheel to the tank instead of the other way around and only have to deal with spraying water on the final hook-up, despite my yelling this at the TV repeatedly.

The oldest group, the Blues, win the coveted Upper Class rank, switching places with the Reds, who become the Merchants. Yellows are again the Cooks (or Non-Cooks, in this case) and the Greens stay as the Laborers. The Greens just miss completing the task in an hour, meaning the town gets neither the water slide nor the necessity prize, which turns out to be freeze-proof pumps that would allow them to have water available at several locations around town, rather than a single pump on the outskirts. In the first scene to teach a lesson to grown-ups, the other teams rally around the Greens, consoling them, telling them what hard workers they are, the whole scene ending in hugs and a group cheer. Truly inspiring.

We get a shot of Green leader Laurel swabbing out an outhouse. Like Sophia, she has that attitude that there are dirty jobs that have to get done, they’re there and they aren’t going to leave it for somebody else. You gotta love them. Greg and the rest of the Upper Class pitch in even though they aren’t required to do anything. This bothers Council member Mike, who doesn’t like Greg and doesn’t want to give him the gold star.

In a scene that reminds us just how young some of these kids are 8 year old Mallory and 10 year old Sophie (not to be confused with Chef Sophia) open a stuffed animal daycare. This is followed by a scene that reminds us how petty kids can be. For no good reason, Emilie is ordered out of the chicken coop and banned from caring for her beloved chickens.

The Town Council meets to decide who gets the gold star. It comes down to either Michael or Greg, with Mike lobbying for Michael on the grounds Greg is only being a good, helpful worker for the money.

At the town meeting the kids are first asked if everyone is pleased with council. Taylor’s failures as a group leader are brought up. She is unapologetic, yet no one suggests she be replaced on the council. Huh? I’m really finding the inability of the kids to take decisive action on their own, without the producers telling them what to do, disheartening.

In any event, Michael gets his gold star. Will Greg be able to handle his disappointment (he thought he was a shoe-in) and strive to win the next one (its only 3 days away), or will he do something mean and stupid? Tune in next week, same Bat-web, same Bat-site.